Friday, 12 November 2021

Pastor to Patient

  When I was a curate in the people's republic of South Yorkshire, before the days of data protection and safeguarding, a local member of the Deanery was awarded an OBE for services to patients.

Each week he went through all the admission sheets for the Doncaster Royal Infirmary and sorted the names into the ecclesiastical parishes each individual came from and wrote to the parish priest.

In my parish the Vicar coordinated a weekly hospital visit usually on the afternoon of the mid week Eucharist and staff meeting.

A car full of us, there were four on the team, would drive to the hospital and fan out across the wards each armed with a list of names.

One particular Wednesday I called by the bedside of an elderly miner, injured in an accident at Hatfield Main Colliery. Breathing heavily through advanced pneumoconiosis. I introduced myself but he was singularly unimpressed by the sight of a bespectacled, denim clad, callow youth, in a dog collar.

He was too ill to show me the door but made it clear that he had no truck with religion, do gooders and the church in general.

So I moved on to the next person on my list.

A couple of weeks later there was a tentative knock on my door. I had never met the person before but he introduced himself a the son of the man that I had visited.

His father had died and had asked his son to seek me out in order to ask me to take his funeral. Of course my response was to agree and we settled down to discuss dates and the order of the service.

I was in hospital and you visited me!

38When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 When did we see You sick or in prison and visit You?’40And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’…

Over the years since my curacy I have visited many parishioners in hospital and the nature and style of those visits followed a pattern, I would check with the hospital, I would arrange a time, I would visit, catch up on home and parish and I would say a short prayer or blessing.

In my current role at one point I had both Churchwardens in hospital, one in Durham and one in Ward 5 of the Freeman Hospital in Newcastle I was a regular visitor to both.

And then ironically I found myself as a patient in Ward 5. I was in Hospital as a result of surgery, a Pancreaticoduodenectomy or Whipples procedure.

From pastor to patient.

My first challenge was to do with names and titles. As a Pastor I was the Revd Canon Geoff Smith. But since may remarriage and an agreement with my new wife who wished to retain her maiden name we became the Purcell Smith's.

In hospital as a patient, I was bed 3 and variously Geoff Purcell. Geoff Smith. P Smith and just Geoff but mainly Geoff, I was very aware of the risks of being mistaken for someone else, every procedure was preceded by the question date of birth?

I recalled the story of a doctor making a request on behalf of a patient: "Wort on middle finger, please remove, for the patient to wake to find his whole middle finger missing".

Also, rather than normally being focussed on the one parishioner that I was visiting I was now one of six quite poorly men in the ward. In my ward Ward 5, most of the men were local, Newcastle United supporters and spoke with broad 'Geordie' accents. So as we settled into our common existence with most conversations being conducted behind curtains and therefore open for all to eavesdrop an uneasy sense of familiarity settled on the ward and between the six of us. 

My immediate neighbour in Bed 2 was scandalised when he was handed a pair of hospital slipper socks in red and white. He demanded black and white, the colours of Newcastle United.

My wife's visiting was subject to Covid restrictions, one named visitor for one hour, but I was visited by members of the Chaplaincy team and because of some vivid dreams, stressful nights and weird fantasies I requested and was visited by the psyche team from the hospital.

But as a result of two weeks restrictions because of a leaking pancreas I was put on 'nil by mouth' when I experienced significant weight loss together with what Ivan Illich described as 'iatrogenic' symptoms including never before experienced Migraine type headaches.

My wife observed that I was being institutionalised and one of my medical team observed on his morning round, you've been here too long, this is not doing you any good. I suspect that it was at this point that efforts were made to ensure that I was discharged.

As a pastor I seek to preach and proclaim the concept of an incarnational faith. As St John's Gospel tells us: 'The word became flesh and dwelt amongst us'. Whilst the notion of incarnation speaks of lofty ideals, at the end of the day, well, flesh is flesh.

As a patient I had to get used to the idea of being flesh.

Blood tests, cannulas fitted and removed, picc lines, fitted and removed, in one case accidentally, injections. My body was a specimen which had to be controlled and managed to allow it to heal after some eight hours of surgery.

Whilst I felt that that my 'flesh' was treated with respect it was still treated with an uneasy familiarity during observations, checks for bed sores and whilst mopping up vomit and other accidents 'of the flesh'.

But whilst I was a patient I was still a priest, a pastor and during a n email conversation with a parishioner I discovered that Radio 3 was broadcasting the Canonical Hours and so I decided that, silently and under the cover of darkness I would exercise as best as I might a ministry if prayer in my situation and for those I shared my situation with and for those who cared for us.

Canonical Hours in Ward 5

Matins, the first hour
Sung as the hospital day
Commences as the night shift
Switch on Ward lights
At 6 00 am observations begin
Blood Pressure, temperatures
Heart rate. Good Morning, Good Morning
An echo of the Beatles
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
Lauds, celebrates the new day
Between each burst of activity
Respite follows, the common mood
Follows the common good, resting
Before a change of shift, fresh eyes
Are raised, beds made, bed baths
Or showers for the ambulant
My leaking pancreas is flushed to dry
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
As sun arches into the hospital
Windows, Prime, is intoned
Food containers opened
Breakfast served, soft foods for
Delicate stomachs, cereals
Or porridge brought to bedsides
Give us our daily bread, forgive our
Sins, Hail Mary, full of Grace
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
Terce takes us through the hours
Dr’s rounds as prognoses
Are shared, further diagnoses written
On the computerised adding machines
From bedside to bedside patients
Wondering is this the day I hear
That wonderful word of solemn blessing it is time for you to think of home?
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
Sext marks the day shift halfway
In these hours of never ending
Days minds turn gratitude for physical
Recovery the stress of a surgeon’s knife
The wounds will heal, yesterday’s pain
Become tomorrow’s blessing
Grandma’s advice, don’t scratch the scabs just let them heal be strong
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
None marks that mid afternoon pause Before observations lunch
The menu’s chosen just a day before
May be less appetising as covers
Are lifted but a switch from nil
By mouth to pasta with fish is a blessing
Give us this day our daily bread and fishes let miracles occur generosity feed through
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
Vespers evening draws in again
I simply failed to notice the shift
In time from summer to winter my
iPhone had it covered as if by magic
An evening meal is served, bloods fine
Medicine’s prescribed pain controlled
Anticipate the solemn watch ethereal
Music lifts our spirits to the divine
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus
At compline the hours draw close
Ward 5 gathers for handover
Day shift to night, a night of silent watches, of unsteady steps, relieving
Oneself, walking like a man wired for sound, machines beeping as you walk
Under the cautious watch of the night shift
You return to the day’s challenges
Continued healing a blessing claimed
Ave Maria, gratia plena, benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus

Wednesday, 22 September 2021

Reflections on the Gospel

 For a third week we are facing and being challenged by Mark’s Gospel and Peter’s memories of his time with Jesus and again the Gospel offers a challenge to preachers: exorcisms, hard sayings, incoherence, even outrageousness in the text.

 This week we are challenged to disable ourselves to be sure of entering the kingdom, hands, feet, eyes all become disposable if we are to enter the kingdom rather than hell. If one suffering gangrene, whether of body or of soul, pretends to be healthy, the outcome is hell, Gehenna. 

 

Gehenna was a ravine south of Jerusalem notorious for pagan infanticide envisioned by later Jews as the place of the wicked’s final judgment 

 

In the first of the three phases of the gospel along with the disciples we are challenged to accept that anyone whose actions conform to Jesus’ character should be welcomed and encouraged. For us the biggest challenge is the rise of humanism in our society but which is often more evidently christian than some of what we find ministered by the churches.

 

Jesus continues to prepare his disciples to understand the complexity of what it means to follow him. Two powerful images of cups of water and Millstones.

 

At my house in the Cathedral Close in Bradford there was often a knock at the door. Usually at an inconvenient moment sometimes an older woman would be there. I came to recognise her, and think of this passage in Mark’s Gospel, because she would ask for a cup of water and a blessing. Both of which I was only too glad to offer.

 

 In the second phase of the gospel Jesus challenges his disciples about attitudes of power and status and warns them, “if any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea” 

 

Last week Jesus produced a child and I referred to the Diocesan safeguarding officer. Here in this passage is the beginning of a theology of safeguarding. There is a huge level of responsibility here; the revelations of child sexual abuse have made clear how welcoming children can become something much more sinister. 

Yet we have to avoid marginalisation of children.  Marginalisation is itself a form of abuse. A community that closes its heart against children is closing its heart against Christ.

A theology of safe guarding says children in our midst are not the danger; they are a litmus test for the quality of our communities.  When children are safe our communities are healthy. A community with children at the centre is one that reflects the fruit of the spirit.

The final phase of today’s Gospel tells us to be salty. Saltiness is good, to much salt less so.

Jesus speaks in parables and the parable of salt speaks of cross-bearing discipleship, the yoke of the week before last, a sacrificial preservative prevents the church from becoming insipid. Salt, self-sacrifice for the gospel, promotes communal peace and quells self-centredness and one-upmanship.

 

Clay, salted with fire, becomes glazed and our glazing reflects the light of our deep love of Christ and our christian fellowship, we are clay no more, we can shine as in a Graham Kendrick hymn.

 

Thursday, 16 September 2021

Some thoughts on Sunday's Gospel

 

Gethsemane

A long night ahead, I fear the dark
But as the darkness descends
I sense the possibilities of light
Coming with the dawn rising
Sense and sensibility streaming
Across our distances as we stand
Apart hoping for contact, renewal
Engagement a coming together
Relationships renewed despite
Ending in apparent failure stress
Is the engine of failure redeemed
By the simple expression of love
Love is ultimately redemptive
The past is behind us, we are renewed
Made new, reborn, we become the new
People we are born to become

Here we are again facing and challenged by Mark’s Gospel and Peter’s memories of his time with Jesus.

 

This week we are taken aside, along with the disciples, as Jesus’ prepares them for what lies ahead, that he will die and be raised again.

 

His mission as attracting attention and he is clear how it will end Jesus own family has already known death, his cousin John was killed for speaking truth to power.

 

Jesus is preparing his disciples so that they will understand the complexity of what it means to follow him. But sadly they are so dense that light bends around them as the gospel says they did not understand and were afraid to ask. 

 

Instead they started to argue about who was the greatest amongst them in their group and you can almost hear the sigh in Peter’s breath as he shares with Mark his memories of that day and that time because of course now he does understand.

 

But Jesus question continues to echo through history, it echoes down the ages of the Christian story, it echoes through formation and reformation and of course it echoes here in Shotley in 2021.

 

What were you arguing about on the way? 

 

Jesus doesn’t need to google he had this kind of knowledge because of a finely honed intuition, he had no need for divinely ordained eavesdropping technology. After all it’s never too difficult to tell when your friends have been arguing.

 

You can feel it, you can often hear it in the silence as you approach them.

What were you arguing about on the way?

Jesus challenges them obliquely. 

 

 

Just as a magician produces a rabbit out of a hat he produces a child. I’m sure that the Diocesan safeguarding officer would be the first to raise her concerns.

 

One commentary I read speculated that it might have been his child an interesting speculation after all he embraces the child and speaks of hospitality.

 

As last week we have to focus on a Greek word, paidion, “little child” which has the double meaning of “immediate offspring” and “slave.” Jesus’ rejoinder to the disciples bickering over rank parallels last week’s lection: just as the saving of one’s life requires its sacrifice for the gospel’s sake, so too does primacy in discipleship demand taking the last place of all.  

 

Becoming everyone’s servant.

 

As we rise to the challenge of discipleship in our communities and in our church life we have to ask ‘What are we arguing about’?

 

Then we have to reflect on the face of the child from Afghanistan that we saw on the news asking for peace and a hopeful future after his father was killed by the Taliban.

 

We have to reflect on the face of the child queueing with her mother at the foodbank so that she might be fed from the crumbs that fall from rich folks tables in the fifth richest economy in the world.

 

We have to reflect on the face of the child lying in a hospital bed because no place of safety or care can be found for him in our society.

Sunday, 12 September 2021

Conviviality and Covid

 Conviviality in a time of Covid

 

My initial experience of Covid was in the main academic and based largely on rumours of what was happening in Wuhan, China which I heard on the local news and read in my daily newspaper.

 

Initially in the UK the TV News was debating ‘Herd Immunity’ a means of controlling the disease by allowing it to spread throughout the population thereby allowing individuals affected to build immunity by developing anti-bodies. 

 

However the spread of the Virus was dramatic mainly as a result of it being so infectious. The message from the Government was based on three statements:

 

Hands – Face – Space

 

A slogan which encouraged everyone to wash their hands thoroughly and frequently and to use sanitizer. To be aware of the need to keep their breathing away from others to prevent infection and to wear a mask and to maintain a ‘social distancing’. It was this phrase that I personally found most challenging especially when viewed through the lens of conviviality, suddenly social relationships were curtailed, hugging, embracing, the visit to the pub, dancing with friends or strangers, live music were all strictly limited and before long Churches were closed and congregations scattered.

 

Covid 19 is a highly contagious respiratory illness first detected in Wuhan, Hubei province, China.

Since December 2019, cases have been identified in a growing number of countries. Coronaviruses are a large family of viruses that are known to cause illness ranging from the common cold to more severe diseases such as Severe Acute Respiratory syndrome (SARS) and Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS).

 

My conflict in respect of Covid is the disastrous management of the disease by the Government which has resulted in more than a 150,000, avoidable deaths. Delays at the start of the pandemic, failure to equip hospital staff and care workers with PPE, patients transferred from hospital to care homes without proper testing.

 

The impact on health and wellbeing is extraordinarily high and there is little or no doubt that when friends and families are separated, elders left to die alone and children not hugged there is little or no evidence of conviviality or Shalom.

 

The fruit of human salvation is Shalom.

 

Often in English we think of Shalom as ‘peace’ but the meaning of the word is more profound and much deeper than simply ‘peace’.

 

Gerhard Von Rad defines shalom as ‘a state where things are balanced out, where the claims of a society are satisfied, a state …… which can only be made effective when protected by a society governed by justice’.

 

In this definition shalom can be seen as describing relationships between people, between communities and between humanity and God. In the Old Testament Shalom is communal rather than personal and the community is the proper setting for it.

 

Both Isaiah (48.22 & 57.21) and Jeremiah (6 14 & 8 11) remind us that Shalom cannot be taken for granted and does not come to us automatically and neither can the affluent buy a disproportionately larger share of Shalom.

 

Shalom is always a gift from God and does not come from our own efforts however it is always the case that human disobedience to the Divine will can create conditions in which shalom cannot take root and prosper.

 

In Psalm 85 10 we read that ‘Righteousness and Shalom will kiss each other’ the two aspects of righteousness and peace are inseparable companions, elsewhere in Psalm 72.7 where Shalom is described as the fruit of just Government.

 

It is hardly surprising that throughout the bible, throughout history and in our contemporary times the rich pray for the continuation of  their existing peace while the poor pray for the establishment of and long for justice.

 

As the social activist observed when, during the depression he saw a course advertised on how to make fish head soup, ‘Who got the rest of the fish’?

 

In the conflicts that I am placing at the centre of my learning with interdiac I observe that in the context of the UK the Covid pandemic has created conditions in which Shalom has neither rooted or prospered.

 

If Shalom means, for the individual a totally integrated life with health of body, heart and mind, attuned to nature, open to others in joy with God, allowing individuals to share mutuality and love, then again Covid has challenged that understanding of Shalom.

 

Indeed the many theories that have been developed suggest that our natural relationship or shalom with nature has been neglected to the extent that cross species transfer lies at the heart of the introduction of Covid. We have it seems abandoned our God given responsibility as caring trustees of creation.

 

Church aid groups have accused the European Union of neglecting social justice and child poverty in its far-reaching coronavirus recovery package, agreed last week by the EU Council, and urged MEPs to demand changes.

“Today, one in four children in the EU grow up at risk of poverty and social exclusion — Covid-19 and its socio-economic consequences are worryingly expected to escalate this figure exponentially”, the EU Alliance for Investing in Children said its members include Caritas-Europa and the mostly Protestant Eurodiaconia, as well as UNICEF and Save the Children.

“This is a historic moment to champion the rights of children within the EU and ensure the next generation grows up in inclusive, healthy, equitable and prosperous societies.”

The challenge of conviviality and Shalom: A prophetic church is a Godly Church.

 

Friday, 3 September 2021

conviviality and personal history .......

  There are many synonyms: friendliness, geniality, affability, amiability, congeniality, good humour, cordiality, warmth, warm-heartedness, good nature, sociability, gregariousness, clubbability, companionability, cheerfulness, cheeriness, good cheer, joviality, jollity, gaiety, liveliness, festivity, bonhomie. And one rather sad antonym: unfriendliness.

 

In interdiac the definition of conviviality has three elements drawn from an understanding of the social and community aspects of life in the Iberian Peninsula where Moslems were able to live freely and openly with their Jewish and Christian neighbours.

 

The conviviality of life in 19th Century Paris with its free and unconstrained conversation.

 

The work and writings of Ivan Illich in which he described the transformation of relationships between people and their environment and technology.

 

In Manchester in the early 1970’s I worked in an inner-city environment which was scheduled for demolition to make way for an urban motorway. 

 

In my time in this community I undertook a variety of activities working with unemployed and homeless young people. I established a workplace environment teaching young people skills, Workpiece, together with a hostel offering accommodation, Nightcap.

 

The essence of the work was established on the basis of neighbourliness, responding to Jesus’ radical question to the lawyer, who is neighbour to him? To which the answer is clearly your neighbour is anyone whose need lays a claim on your love.

 

It was also based on an understanding of justice and human rights. These young people were rejected not only by society, having left school at 16 without qualifications or jobs to go to, their families unable to feed, or clothe or house them they drifted, surfed friends sofas, or as one young man explained when my brother is inside then I get the sofa and if both my brothers are in prison I get the bed, otherwise I’m out. Drugs, thieving, violence were part and parcel of their lives.

 

Our main definition of what we were about in this work especially in the establishment of Nightcap the hostel, came from Bob Dylan’s Balled of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest:

 


‘What kind of house is this,” he said

‘Where I have come to roam?”

‘It’s not a house,’ said Judas Priest

“it’s not a house, it’s a home”


 

So how does this work in the broader context of interdiac and the definition of Conviviality.

 

My reflection at the time and now is that these young people were a ‘litmus’ test of the fairness and simple lack of justice that lay at the heart of society. They were invisible, as I realised when talking to Church Groups who had no sense of what lay beneath the surface of their comfortable community life.

 

As Tony Addy writes: there were new insights, sparkling moments, change happened. But there were empty moments too when nothing could be said.

Ten Covid Cantos ......

 I have been writing poems and posting them on Facebook.

 

10 Covid Cantos : Geoff Smith

 

1

 

Dare we unmask our futures?

Or will we remain disguised

Avoiding transmission, hoping

Against hope for release 

 

As this night draws to a conclusion 

Sky falls, Sun sets, the night sky

Glows with stars followed by Kings

This year we had a hard time burying 

 

Our dead. Embalming bodies, with

Myrrh. Smoke rising as prayers

Sweet scented as incense clouding

Our vision. A golden glow of riches 

 

So we draw masks across faces

Protecting futures praying as we do

That futures will be convivial,

Persuasive, alive, acting, building 

 

A better more tolerable life in years

Ahead, friends, friendships, embracing

A future of promise, possibility

Greater normality, a hopeful future

 

2

 

Our yesterday’s call us back

To myths of our own making

 

Memories of life captured almost

As an L S Lowry painting or singing

 

From a fairground organ. Returning

Home with goldfish swimming in a 

 

Plastic bag won by tossing a table

Tennis ball into a globe. Luck celebrated

 

As skill. Every year a family trip on Good

Friday to our Easter Fair at Daisy Nook

 

 

Stalls piled high with candy floss, toffee

Apples, hot dogs and ketchup, ice

 

Cream cones, vanilla, scents of chocolate

Cheese and deep fried chips wrapped

 

In old newspaper The Manchester 

Evening News soaked with beef dripping 

 

Laced with vinegar. Above a Manchester

Sky, sun setting at day’s end. So well

 

Named, Good Friday no better day

Imaginable as we followed the tow path

 

Home, past Medlock Mill to Crossland Road

Under a darkening skies’ hazy colouring

 

Reaching for distant memories of people

All long gone now after these long years

 

3

 

Days lengthen

Just moments past

Each dawn each later dusk

 

In an evening sky

Against blue shadows 

A Red Kite glides to nest

 

Out of eye shadows 

Along our fallow edge

Young deer move towards

 

Summer grazing

On our pastures regreened

As spring announces warmth

 

To come cautious 

Optimism is our theme

In these fag end days of winter

 

4

 

What’s that worth, nerve shredding 

Sounds of birth, new ages breeched

 

We imagine futures stretching ahead

Distances shrinking as I head to bed

 

I can only imagine the limits of what might

Arrive if I hold my breath very, very tight

 

Covid makes breathing tough leaves you

Feeling rough stresses our well-being

 

Planning emphasises optimism, as though

Ahead there is a future, a prism of opportunity 

 

But all we can anticipate is fate, unyielding 

My opportunities frankly receding quite fast 

 

So I bequeath my future to those who come

After, praying for them, joy and laughter

 

5

 

So it’s all change innit

Can’t stay the same

No ones to blame

Just to need to be with it

 

So I get my stuff together

I aim for a solution 

We don’t need pollution

So stop your blether

 

I’m just hoping for the best

Raising a glass to your wealth

Toasting your health

Hoping that you get some rest

 

The finale will be chorused

The singers in tune

We will soar the balloon

Our joys will be focused

 

6

 

Spring revealing
Beneath snow covered paths
Aconite yellow

 

7

 

Passing along past a garden

Gate, saw a sign announcing 

Garage sale, clearly a moving 

Experience, heading west, coastward 

 

 

Detritus of a life well lived not

Needed in phase two So we 

Call in to check out bargains

Finding treasures to go 

 

So new lives beckon us forward

Hopes, possibilities, dreams, new

Dawns, tomorrow’s possibility 

Announces today’s impossiblity

 

Reaching out towards a new life

Re-imagining myself in an un-

discovered future beyond pan-

demic, life rediscovered imaginatively

 

8

 

From Psalm 45

 

My tongue is the pen of a ready 

Writer, my heart is astir with

Gracious words fashioned 

 

As maybe into songs

The rhythms of the day pulse

As heartbeats against

 

Drum tight skin stretched

Like echoes’ reverb of nation

So we exit the company of those

 

Who make common cause

Who together break bread

At the tables of success

 

In the sorrow of going it

Alone we find that love

Is hard edged so we gesture 

 

With patterns of silent grief

Sacrificing prosperity whilst 

Denying truth and humility 

 

Embracing self righteousness

Choosing exit over experience

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

 

Against sky, blue, White

Windmills turn generating

Life’s electric currents

 

Spinning slowly, angels

Wings thrumming music

For the dance of time

 

Balancing on thermals

Above Hammermill Plantation 

A Red Kite shimmers

 

In a low sun, light reflected

On feathers that sing

Of what may yet come

 

On January’s last days 

As months turn snowdrops 

Offer a forecast, Seasons

 

Turning as turbines turn

Dancing as kites dance

Singing as birds sing

 

10

 

Sodium glare beneath

Setting sun, trash cans

Stacked kerbside reflecting 

A warm days heat

 

Feral dogs hunting noses

Pressed into garbage

Scenting leftover chorizo 

As my headlights reflected

 

On the trashcans dogs

Feral snarling echoed 

Across silent meza

Sacks of half torn pizza

 

Paella plates of garbage

Trashcans scenting night

Airs as my headlights caught

Dogs turntailed to darkness