This has been the bleakest Easter I can remember.
There are a number of reasons for this state of affairs but the single most compelling reason is that I find that having the church as the interlocutor between me and whatever is meant by God is proving more and more unsatisfactory.
This dis-ease arises partly from the fact of being retired: I'd rather do it myself than watch someone else do it badly.
Partly from being fed a poor diet when I do attend worship. The warmth, drama, music, colour of the Liturgy has been reduced to a 'going through the motions' on the part of the overworked and overstretched clergy.
Partly from my being an island of catholicity in a sea of evangelicalism.
Partly from seeing the church which I had served as well as I was able, 'burning myself out in the service of the Lord' as I was instructed by my theological college principal, being reduced to a faded facsimile of itself, reproduced on a Cannon photocopier?
Partly seeing and hearing the 'leadership' of the church twisting themselves inside out in order to pretend that business can carry on as usual when it clearly cannot.
Partly because the social gospel that I believed was the only valid Kingdom expression arising from the Lord's Prayer and my reading the Bible, has been forgotten.
These are the 'six impossible things' that have happened since my Priesting 45 years ago this year and they have left me clinging onto the church by my finger tips, occasionally conducting worship, usually for congregations of five or six people, in cold churches, with no music, moth or rodent eaten vestments and the drama provided by wondering whether, as happened recently at a funeral I attended recently, a member of the congregation might collapse and need an ambulance.
I overheard the person who called the ambulance answer the question about where they were, when the finally managed to find a signal by standing on a gravestone, by saying 'in the middle of nowhere'.
Which was both literally and metaphorically the case.
I gather from other clergy that whilst some would disagree with me about all this, many would agree.
These six impossible things lead to other dissatisfactions.
It seems to me from my observation that nobody has a Vicar anymore and that the Church of England is becoming markedly congregational in its practises.
When I was living in a previous parish where I was basically a house for duty assistant curate (which interestingly offered me the opportunity for the happiest and most rewarding five years of ministry) I had an accident.
As a result of my accident, which left me hospitalised with a punctured lung and cracked ribs, I wrote in the parish magazine a piece in which I was able to say just what it meant to me to have a Vicar rather then being a Vicar for my six weeks of convalescence.
But now as a retiree in a Diocese I am pretty clear that not only am I not a Vicar but I don't have a Vicar either.
The congregationalism however is qualified by a leadership which consistently requires that those seeking office in the Church become more and more academically qualified. Surely a 'reader' needs to be able to read? And if they are called to preach then they should call on the example of Jesus and take as their subject matter, simple ideas drawn from scripture and illustrated from the stuff of the world around them? You don't need a degree or New Testament Greek for that?
This blog on 'Me and the Church' was preceded by two blogs which I began but didn't take very far, one was called Voice Crying in the Wilderness and the other Prophet Without Honour.
Most of what passes for social commentary emanating from the leadership of the church is woefully under researched and under stated.
Nevertheless it has caused the Government to complain and demand that the church stays out of politics.
The two Archbishops in their public statements seem to approximate to a political broadcast for the Liberal Party when compared with other preachers and church leaders.
Compare the recent essays Rock and Sand, 'fixing the economy is not enough we are told, the market has limits we are advised, solidarity is important, the social compact represented by the welfare state is under threat, the church needs to have a vision'.
I much prefer my reading from Bishop Helder Camara:
'The capitalist empires, with their affirmations of sacrifice for the free world, of defence of private enterprise, of safeguarding order from subversion and chaos, are in fact defending their political prestige and the economic interests arising from it; they are indeed at the service of economic power and the international trusts. The socialist empires for their part are hard and intransigent they do not allow pluralism, they impose dialectical materialism, demand blind obedience to the party, set up a regime of total and permanent insecurity and fear, just like the fascist dictatorships of the extreme right'.
Or:
'When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist'.
When I was a curate in Bolton I once asked the Vicar of Bolton what were his views on the ordination of women. He told me that he didn't have view because it wouldn't happen until after had retired and so didn't concern him.
I always felt that there was an issue of simple justice at the heart of the debate and that the Church should reflect its commitment to that justice being realised for its own sake and for the world.
Now we are seeing something, at least in the English Church, America is different, that somehow fails to reflect or respect that justice and offers a poor example to the world.
As a conspiracy theorist it seems to me that what we are witnessing is not positive discrimination but the failure of due process and cabalistic scheming behind closed doors which honours neither the principles that underpin and argue for the ordination of women and the natural way in which women duly ordained should when it is appropriate be elevated to the episcopate.
What I hope is that the women duly elevated will have the courage and confidence to challenge the Bishop's to behave more appropriately as leaders of a church that is rapidly losing its place in world, losing its influence and hemorrhaging its membership and failing to attract young people into membership.
I'm still clinging on but my finger tips are raw and my nails are bleeding.
There are a number of reasons for this state of affairs but the single most compelling reason is that I find that having the church as the interlocutor between me and whatever is meant by God is proving more and more unsatisfactory.
This dis-ease arises partly from the fact of being retired: I'd rather do it myself than watch someone else do it badly.
Partly from being fed a poor diet when I do attend worship. The warmth, drama, music, colour of the Liturgy has been reduced to a 'going through the motions' on the part of the overworked and overstretched clergy.
Partly from my being an island of catholicity in a sea of evangelicalism.
Partly from seeing the church which I had served as well as I was able, 'burning myself out in the service of the Lord' as I was instructed by my theological college principal, being reduced to a faded facsimile of itself, reproduced on a Cannon photocopier?
Partly seeing and hearing the 'leadership' of the church twisting themselves inside out in order to pretend that business can carry on as usual when it clearly cannot.
Partly because the social gospel that I believed was the only valid Kingdom expression arising from the Lord's Prayer and my reading the Bible, has been forgotten.
These are the 'six impossible things' that have happened since my Priesting 45 years ago this year and they have left me clinging onto the church by my finger tips, occasionally conducting worship, usually for congregations of five or six people, in cold churches, with no music, moth or rodent eaten vestments and the drama provided by wondering whether, as happened recently at a funeral I attended recently, a member of the congregation might collapse and need an ambulance.
I overheard the person who called the ambulance answer the question about where they were, when the finally managed to find a signal by standing on a gravestone, by saying 'in the middle of nowhere'.
Which was both literally and metaphorically the case.
I gather from other clergy that whilst some would disagree with me about all this, many would agree.
These six impossible things lead to other dissatisfactions.
It seems to me from my observation that nobody has a Vicar anymore and that the Church of England is becoming markedly congregational in its practises.
When I was living in a previous parish where I was basically a house for duty assistant curate (which interestingly offered me the opportunity for the happiest and most rewarding five years of ministry) I had an accident.
As a result of my accident, which left me hospitalised with a punctured lung and cracked ribs, I wrote in the parish magazine a piece in which I was able to say just what it meant to me to have a Vicar rather then being a Vicar for my six weeks of convalescence.
But now as a retiree in a Diocese I am pretty clear that not only am I not a Vicar but I don't have a Vicar either.
The congregationalism however is qualified by a leadership which consistently requires that those seeking office in the Church become more and more academically qualified. Surely a 'reader' needs to be able to read? And if they are called to preach then they should call on the example of Jesus and take as their subject matter, simple ideas drawn from scripture and illustrated from the stuff of the world around them? You don't need a degree or New Testament Greek for that?
This blog on 'Me and the Church' was preceded by two blogs which I began but didn't take very far, one was called Voice Crying in the Wilderness and the other Prophet Without Honour.
Most of what passes for social commentary emanating from the leadership of the church is woefully under researched and under stated.
Nevertheless it has caused the Government to complain and demand that the church stays out of politics.
The two Archbishops in their public statements seem to approximate to a political broadcast for the Liberal Party when compared with other preachers and church leaders.
Compare the recent essays Rock and Sand, 'fixing the economy is not enough we are told, the market has limits we are advised, solidarity is important, the social compact represented by the welfare state is under threat, the church needs to have a vision'.
I much prefer my reading from Bishop Helder Camara:
'The capitalist empires, with their affirmations of sacrifice for the free world, of defence of private enterprise, of safeguarding order from subversion and chaos, are in fact defending their political prestige and the economic interests arising from it; they are indeed at the service of economic power and the international trusts. The socialist empires for their part are hard and intransigent they do not allow pluralism, they impose dialectical materialism, demand blind obedience to the party, set up a regime of total and permanent insecurity and fear, just like the fascist dictatorships of the extreme right'.
Or:
'When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist'.
When I was a curate in Bolton I once asked the Vicar of Bolton what were his views on the ordination of women. He told me that he didn't have view because it wouldn't happen until after had retired and so didn't concern him.
I always felt that there was an issue of simple justice at the heart of the debate and that the Church should reflect its commitment to that justice being realised for its own sake and for the world.
Now we are seeing something, at least in the English Church, America is different, that somehow fails to reflect or respect that justice and offers a poor example to the world.
As a conspiracy theorist it seems to me that what we are witnessing is not positive discrimination but the failure of due process and cabalistic scheming behind closed doors which honours neither the principles that underpin and argue for the ordination of women and the natural way in which women duly ordained should when it is appropriate be elevated to the episcopate.
What I hope is that the women duly elevated will have the courage and confidence to challenge the Bishop's to behave more appropriately as leaders of a church that is rapidly losing its place in world, losing its influence and hemorrhaging its membership and failing to attract young people into membership.
I'm still clinging on but my finger tips are raw and my nails are bleeding.
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